A Longing for Something More

I found this saved on my computer today, wrote on Christmas day of 2005. I don't remember what inspired it, but it may have been after watching The Island.

He has set eternity in the hearts of men... Ecclesiastes 3:11

Ever since I can remember I always wanted more stuff. I remember begging my mom for Coco Puffs in the cereal isle because I was absolutely positive that nothing else ever ever tasted better. After a few bites, though, I tried to convince myself that was still the case. Not too much later I had found a new favorite thing, and consequently many more after that. In fact, right now I have many favorite things that would fit me perfectly if I only could have one. Recently I have realized that the best things in life are the best when you don't have them. It's the hope that drives me to obtain the one last piece of a puzzle that seems only to augment with every addition. So what is any of it worth? Many of the super-wealthy have lost this drive. Throughout history, story after story tells of suicides and murders in the upper class - mostly because these people cannot hope. They have not lost hope, infact, they probably have it more than anyone else. But they are incapable of hoping because there is nothing they could hope for. Everything they want they have, anything else they can buy. There's no work, no effort, no cost. It's almost as if hope is necesary for survival. So tell me, why is this hope present? The athiest tells me that I am here because of a few katillion years of genetic lottery and this world is all there is. Then why do I feel that it's not? How can I know about something concrete and eternal when time and present pleasure is all I've known? It's like I've been implanted with a longing for something other than what I can see or hear or touch. Like I'm stuck here but someday I'll find out the truth. How can we relate so well to John Savage (Brave New World) or Truman Burbank (The Truman Show)? Maybe I'm feeling strange tonight and nobody feels this way. But for some reason I think they do.